You vs. a Gorilla

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Neo-jplaya

Neo-jplaya

Fishies go "Pook,Pook, Pook!"
You get a sword and an axe. it will be 2 rounds:

1.vs. a calm, bored Gorilla.

2.you get 10 minutes prep, and afterwards you kick it in the balls.

who wins???
 
The sword most definitely makes this easier. After seeing the title, for a sec I thought you were going to suggest fighting this thing with your bare hands...
 
Sword, axe makes no difference unless you know how to attack repeatedly in the correct spot.

With the axe, you'll get stomped. You'll only get one hit until the Gorilla mashes you.

As for the sword,you gotta stab him in the right place on you'll get stomped.
 
A clean stab TO DA FACE and he's done for. With a sword, I guess I'd win. With an axe, probably not.
 
Lol none of you guys have seen a blood lusted gorilla. One slice to the face isn't going o help unless you go for a vital. If you miss your initial attack enjoy having your chest caved in by one massive punch.
 
Red said:
Lol none of you guys have seen a blood lusted gorilla. One slice to the face isn't going o help unless you go for a vital. If you miss your initial attack enjoy having your chest caved in by one massive punch.
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Well if you have no swordskill whatsoever, you're down after your first failed slash attempt.

But if you know what you're doing, on the other hand...
 
A mountain Gorilla can break a grown man in half like a twig without any effort.

No way are we winning in any of these scenarios.
 
Dude...why do you hate us so damn much?
At least let us team up, so we can hurt both arms or something like that.
 
Gorillas are overrated. Stab it with the sword, brain it with the axe. Either way we win. Humans are superior becuase of our tools.
 
honestly, nothing short of successfully making an instantly fatal attack on the gorilla there is no way of victory.
 
Scenario 1: I win. Sword's are stronger when you use them with two hands! :zaru
Seriously though, if I can get a good thrust through the throat or an eye then the big guy is done for. If he's still active an axe blow to the neck should hurt the mofo!

Scenario 2: I win again as with 10 mins of prep I reckon I could lure the thing where I want it and skewer it in the head.

It really does depend on whether you can get a 1-Hit-KO or not cos if you only heavily wound it chances are it'll beat you to death.
 
I disagree. It wouldn't beat me to death, anyway. The first blow, fatal or not, would really injure the animal. After that, I could just stab him again.
 
Without a gun you all very likely die. Unless the Gorrilla is asleep and you can successfully cut it's throat any attempt at attacking it likely leaves you missing limbs and/or vital organs.
 
Yes a sword through the head would kill it but I'd like to see you try to hit a bloodlusted Gorrilla in the head.

In it's frenzy you will either miss, and then get mauled to death (bloodlusted Gorilla won't give a darn about injurys even if u do hit him), or your instincts will kick in and u will run the fuck away, or hesitate enough to get killed.

The only way u can win this is through sheer luck that where you stab will go through it's head.
 
Sasori said:
Yes a sword through the head would kill it but I'd like to see you try to hit a bloodlusted Gorrilla in the head.

In it's frenzy you will either miss, and then get mauled to death (bloodlusted Gorilla won't give a darn about injurys even if u do hit him), or your instincts will kick in and u will run the fuck away, or hesitate enough to get killed.

The only way u can win this is through sheer luck that where you stab will go through it's head.
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Miss?

Miss that? That's a big fucking target. Look at that things head! :amazed
 
This is hilarious. A Chimpanzee alone is strong enough to rip an average man's arm out of its socket. Gorillas can exert at least 1300lbs of pressure with just their bare hands, and they're also stupidly fast. One documentary I watched showed an enraged induvidual cross his 10-foot enclosure in about a second and slam the side. An African park ranger has seen a Gorilla throw a poacher against a tree so hard that his spine snapped like a twig. Every person posting in here is dead if the Gorilla is bloodlusted.
 
A trained person could do it I presume, or simply hold out the sword towards the gorilla's neck/head and let it impale itself as it comes charging.
 
Sasori said:
Yes a sword through the head would kill it but I'd like to see you try to hit a bloodlusted Gorrilla in the head.

In it's frenzy you will either miss, and then get mauled to death (bloodlusted Gorilla won't give a darn about injurys even if u do hit him), or your instincts will kick in and u will run the fuck away, or hesitate enough to get killed.

The only way u can win this is through sheer luck that where you stab will go through it's head.
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Truth

Arishem said:
This is hilarious. A Chimpanzee alone is strong enough to rip an average man's arm out of its socket. Gorillas can exert at least 1300lbs of pressure with just their bare hands, and they're also stupidly fast. One documentary I watched showed an enraged induvidual cross his 10-foot enclosure in about a second and slam the side. An African park ranger has seen a Gorilla throw a poacher against a tree so hard that his spine snapped like a twig. Every person posting in here is dead if the Gorilla is bloodlusted.
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Truth


FireEel said:
A trained person could do it I presume, or simply hold out the sword towards the gorilla's neck/head and let it impale itself as it comes charging.
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Is this b4 or after they:
-shit their pants
-smashed in bones and meat
-the sword breaks
-any combination of the above


We would get stompped hard. If bloodlust, even after were dead, the Gorilla would still smash for a good minute or two. WE GONNA DIE

Prep time does nothing but making the stompping last longer with the slight chance of the Gorilla dying after it has its way with us.
 
Neo-jplaya said:
You get a sword and an axe. it will be 2 rounds:

1.vs. a calm, bored Gorilla.

2.you get 10 minutes prep, and afterwards you kick it in the balls.

who wins???
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Okay, in scenario 1 I'll just leave the axe on the ground. Since the Gorilla is calm and bored, and since Gorillas use tools, the Gorilla will pick the axe up and play with it. Then I'll take the sword and start swinging it towards my face and act like its fun. The hope is that the Gorilla will see this and start imatating my movements. Since the axe has a bigger head ontop than the sword is wide the hope is that I'll eventually get the Gorilla brain himself.

2. I'll use the 10 minutes to run as far away from the Gorilla as I can. Maybe if I can get far enough away it wont hunt me down and kill me.
 
Aokiji said:
You mean that literally? At least say like a stick. Also, sword through the head=:D: .
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This isn't fiction where people calmly chop cars and whales in half, this is real-life, any of us would be lucky to even get the blad completely stuck in the ape before ie eats our intestines
 
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