A Story Of Love: Shikamaru, actuallys cares for something!

Vance

Banned
It's a dark summer night out. Shikamaru, who is lonely, not only because he is the only Chuunin, but because he has no more friends. "I should never have become a Chuunin." he whispers to himself. He has his hands in his pocket, when feels a gust of wind. "You, yeah, the one with the stupid hairstlye. Look at me." a hard female voice commands. He reluctantly looks back. "Jeez, now I have to deal with you Temari, what is it?" Shikamaru asks as if he wanted to be some place else. "Enough of you smart talk, answer my question, why did you let me win?" she hollars angrily. Shikamaru is surprised by her question. The wind rustles as leaves roll in the dark bushes. "Why?" Shikamaru says secretly. "Becuse I ran out of chakra." he plainly says again. Temari steps forward. "That's not the reason. You could have finished me off. Why didn't you do it?!!!!" she demanded, now sounding serious. Shikamaru sighs. "Fine, you wanna know the real reason I let you win?" he tempts. She unravels her giant fan. "Yes." she innocently says. Her voice tender. "Its, because........... I ran out of chakra." he smiles. She opens her eyes, realizing she had puckered up her lips. She blushes, as he falls back. "Ha, thats the real reason." he says smiling even more. Temari is steamed now, she gets evil looking, as she unfolds the fan. Shikamaru relaxes. "Just kidding." he says. Temari seems relieved. Shikamaru starts to blush. "Okay, its not like me to say things like this...... but........." he stops. He admires Temari. "But?" Temari asks deeply and passionatly. "I love you." Shikamaru admits. The two kiss, and live happily ever after
 
Well that was interesting.
I enjoyed that long fanfiction where it takes a lot of time to develop a relashonship between Shikamaru and Temari and how Shikamaru isn't OOC.

hint hint

Your writing is good but maybe you could improve a little. :)
 
Okay, you hate this piece? Eat this bit****

:mad :mad :mad Okay, get ready for the second edition. It's titledShikamaru and Neji, the battle for Temari :p :p
 
Okay, you hate this piece? Eat this bit****

:mad :mad :mad Okay, get ready for the second edition. It's titledShikamaru and Neji, the battle for Temari :p :p
 
You cant get mad at critisism, trust me my fan fic "The Caged Love" was horrid the first time around and I the second time around I rushed the fluff because I am impatient and people were like :(. But they havent seen my NEW update XD
 
Yeah, you did....

But hell, I was terrible too when I first started. It's just part of getting better at it I suppose. If you don't do a bad job when first writing, then it's impossible to get better, in a way. Afterall, what is sucess without knowledge of failure.

Still, why exactly did you bump this?
 
Back
Top Bottom