Why am I posting here and not living? Why am I studying and not applying a damn thing? Where are my social skills? Where are my social setups? Why must I continually be graded? Why can't I receive something other then a grade? I hate being graded. It's all I've worked for my whole life. A ridiculous grade. Nothing else. I don't even have a direction anymore. Just get this done. Just get that grade. Not even money. Just a grade. Nothing else. No personal human recognition. Why is it that when I feel sickened when my mom and my tutor celebrate when I get a good grade? I don't think anyone alive can give me my answers now. Could they?