I'm trying to function on three hours of sleep and failing miserably at it like the way Fitz fails miserably at life.

It just goes to show me that no matter how long I'm given, how early I start, and how much I have to write- I'll always end up staying up to the early morning to finish it. I once told someone that if I couldn't finish a paper in a day, I would not even attempt it, which is largely true.

I was trying to write a comparative essay on the international systems during and post cold war; it was only suppose to be five pages which I should be able to pull off in my sleep (lol@writing longer Naruto fandom rants ><) but I couldn't concentrate.

I think it might have been partly due to my thirteen month old niece, of whom I was looking after for the day, that decided that it was no longer entertained with pushing buttons on the ps controller and found it fundamentally necessary to survival climb on the couch with me and bang on the keyboard. Once achieving her task she, in all her babely conviction, pointed to her face and informed me of the important fact, "no(se)."

"Good job," I applauded. It doesn?t matter when an infant does, you have to applaud. Babies and small animals just happen to be my critical weakness, it turns me into one of those idiotic looking AMGBABIEZ types of people so I was quite delighted in the fact that she can do this, but anyway.

I digress.

So, looking quite pleased with herself, she thrust her finger in my face, pushing my glasses straight into my eyeballs and, like a good girl, enlighten me of ?eye.?

?Good girl.?

Perhaps it was not the best act to reinforce as she took it upon herself to repeatly poke at my glasses (and when I took them off), my eye.

It also didn?t help I was talking to KN and Dave (Dionysus- who probably knows everything in the entire world and we started a debate on whether or not the Cold War ended. But I couldn?t defend myself because I was halfway trying to figure out my views for the paper, and my niece was playing on some really loud noise making toy)

Okay, where was I? Oh yeah, some paper.

The other half of it probably stemmed from the fact I had no idea what theoretical view to label the international system. I thought realism was so general that it accomplished nothing (also, I cannot every align myself with this idea- not because I disagree with its core concepts- but because Waltz is a realist and I hate anything that has to do with that man. Reading him is only slightly more satisfying that taking a large, dull, rusted kitchen utensil and spooning out my eyes), liberalism is a bit na?ve, and I don?t really care to play with radicalism. So my paper was a huge mess of words that didn?t really address the issue as much as was a history lesson without a thesis or any organization.

Around seven o?clock I realized that if I continued on this paper, I would probably kill myself trying to figure out what the hell I was saying before I could give my teacher so she could ponder what the hell I was saying, and rewrote it entirely. Eventually, I came to a constructivist pov which is the most flexible out of all the theories. I like flexibility, it handles space for margin of error with much more grace.

I also realized I?m one of those annoyingly wordy people, that seem to want to make pack a sentence with unnecessaries to make themselves feel better. God help me, those are the kind of writers I despise the most.

I also realized that I put more importance on a title and opening sentence of the paper, than anything else I can. I spent, like, ten minutes of what little time I had thinking of a decent name. I chose ?Calvinball? (that game from Calvin and Hobbes where they change the rules as they go along), because I figure, the entire world can be described in terms of that comic.

By the way, the importance of Calvin and Hobbes is the entire point of my entry here. So you can probably see how much trouble it is for me to write a constructive essay. And how detrimental sleep deprivation can be.

Don?t let this happen to you.