So, I've just finished mopping the kitchen floor...

Oh, you're here for your tap dancing lesson? :p What? You didn't know that I could tap dance? Lol...well, you're not the only one...I didn't know till today either. :laugh Oh? You're confused? How can I teach tap dancing? Well, it's kind of hard to explain but I'm sure you'll learn a thing or two from what I'm about to tell you...

So, I'm at my uncle's place at the moment...and I was feeling a bit hungry. I went to the kitchen and made myself a sandwich, started eating it, etc. But I always have a huge appetite when I'm hungry and it was about time I had eaten something proper today (time by then: ~6:30PM, hadn't eaten all day). I put rice into the rice cooker bowl and flushed some water in it and washed the rice. I poured the dirty water out and turned on the tap to fill the bowl with some more water. Then I closed the tap.


Closing the tap. I didn't think closing a tap would ever cause me any sort of problem in my life; it would've never crossed my mind until, after today, that is. As I closed the tap, I pushed the nob too hard and it "broke". Yea, wtf? Why are you breaking on me? I was only turning you off.

Because the tap was broken and I couldn't close it, well it goes without saying, water kept flowing out. The one word running through my head at this point: Discharge. Don't ask. Me, thinking I can fix anything, tried. Subsequently failing. This initial attempt lasting a grand total of fifteen minutes (I was merely putting pressure on the loose handle on the tap, twisting and hoping recklessly). Oh yea, and I was laughing at my fail while I was at it.

After the initial attempt I went on to plan B: Instead of pushing down and turning anti-clockwise, push down and turn clockwise, really hard! Oh shit! Great plan Tyki! Now you just loosened something else inside the tap and you know what you just did!? You just made a fucking fountain in your uncle's kitchen! Lol! Oh shit!? Did I really just fucking do that? The one word going through my head changed from "Discharge" to "Shit"! And you know what!? My expression turned from ^0^. to O_O.

There was absolutely nothing I could do now. I looked in the cupboard under the kitchen sink for some sort of other tap that stops water flow: No luck there. So I grabbed something, anything to stop the water from shooting into the air and on to the floor. Microwave-safe cover; thanks, this helped a little.

Then I had to run to the living room and grab a phone to call my uncle. Called his three numbers: No answer. I was like "Fuck" now. Next thing you know I get a phone call on the house phone straight after and thank God it was him.

I told him the problem and he told me about the secret tap...that tap was in the bathroom; I should've guessed! I closed that tap...and told him, "All's well. Thanks." I went back into the kitchen and walked out again; I was devastated by the new lake I made there. Ridiculous. I had to go back in there and grab a mop and make every inch of the floor high and dry again. This took nearly an hour. Just before mopping I realised I was drenched as somehow while trying to stop the water from reaching the floor, I used my body as a shield and danced trying to block and avoid the water coming out the broken tap? That's the tap dancing bit of the story. See? All connected!

And just a moment ago, my uncle fixed the tap. Like I implied, he was out at the time. So now all is good.

If you read this you're a star; as for me, I'm a fucking disgrace. :laugh

P.S. If you ever need your kitchen tap broken, just give me a shout and I'll come round and break it for free with my bare hands. :wink