Dear Irrationality,

Things haven't been working out between us lately. The difference between the ideal world and the real world is too great. Therefore I have decided to file for divorce.

We have not found a Dulcinea during our partnership and neither do I have a Rocinante with which to find one. Nor can I joust at the giants who wave their outrageous arms at me both day and night.

It won't be so bad. I spoke with my lawyer. You can keep Dream, Desire, and Hope. You can also have the house. I'll just pay child support and hang out in the Bahamas with my hot new girlfriend "Despair."

PS. You still owe me a thousand bucks for the moped.