From the scriptures of the Red Book of the NBLA:
Parable one:
Once upon a time, in the land of Nim, Kerry Horse was travelling down a small dirt road between two mountains.
Presently, a passage gnome appeared, and demanded three tasks of Kerry Horse before he let him pass through into the fertile valley between the summits.
"Perform for me these hardships three." iterated the passage gnome "Whence freedom and pizza will be given to thee."
But Kerry Horse, who was a god, scoffed at such demands, and squashed the passage gnome flat with his two front hooves, making pizza of the gnome and eating it on the spot.
The lesson of this parable is humility. The passage gnome thought to challenge a deity greater than himself, and paid for it with his life. Also, pizza is good.
The ending of the words is NBLA.
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Parable two:
One fine sunny day, Kerry Horse stood in his meadow alone, pondering the meaning of life. "What is my purpose?" perused Kerry Horse aloud, to himself.
Presently, Old Jim Cloud peeked out from the sky and said in a booming voice. "Kerry Horse, your purpose is quite clear. You are a horse with the head of a man. This means you are surely a god. Your purpose is to make others miserable."
And so Kerry Horse, who now realized the meaning of it all, shat upon old Nanny Smith's favorite daisies.
The lesson if this parable is deceit. Old Jim Cloud lied to Kerry Horse, and Nanny Smith suffered a stroke as a result. Clouds are not your friends.
The ending of the words is NBLA.
-----------------------------------
Parable three:
One day, Machinehead came to visit Kerry Horse. Machinehead had a problem with girls.
"Kerry Horse", said he. "I am of courting age, and of fine white wealthy stock, but girls dislike me sexually. What shall I do?"
"The solution to your problem is simple." said Kerry Horse. "Suicide."
The lesson of this parable is honesty.
The ending of the words is NBLA.
-----------------------------------
Parable four:
Kerry Horse was napping one day, while three creatures argued in a courtyard nearby.
The Kikkoman, who was obnoxious and evil but quite productive, had cornered the timid rabbit, who was friendly but did nothing of interest. The Kikkoman planned to eat the timid rabit, but a large and rather loud bear appeared to contest it.
Vegetable man, who had seen quite enough, awoke Kerry Horse, and asked for advice. Kerry Horse's words were ominous. "At times, we have to reach a comprimise. Banish the Kikkoman."
And Vegetable man did, and all was peaceful, but the courtyard fell into disrepair. Cracks appeared, and crows came, and the sun shone no more. Then the Kikkoman returned, with a plan to fix the courtyard, and though he was evil, other animals flocked to him, and soon the courtyard was half finished. This displeased the timid rabbit and the loud bear, and they fled. Vegetable man asked Kerry Horse his opinion.
Kerry Horse neighed and pawed the ground, then replied. "Sometimes a helpful evil is more important to the courtyard than complacent good."
The lesson of this parable is unknown.
The ending of the words is scribbled out.
------------------------------------
Un-numbered parable:
Dragol Pilaf was limping down the road on his favorite cane. He was half blind and half fat, but completely material. He farted loudly and stained his underpants as he passed the church. Mortified, the Preacher ran outside and began to preach to him about Kerry Horse. Pilaf pulled out his genitals and masturbated upon the ground, and a small tree grew from the ground his essence saturated.
"In three months, fruit will appear from this tree." said Pilaf. "I will return then, and you can bother me."
Three months later, the Pilaf came back. The preacher remembered its face, and grew angry. "Why did you desecrate this place with your unholy presence? Don't you know that this is ground where Kerry Horse once walked?" demanded the preacher.
"I am aware" replied the Pilaf, who was a woman this day. She then squatted on the ground and pissed upon the roots of the plant, and it withered and died. The preacher was horrified. "How can you create something, and then destroy it? Have you no explanation?" asked the preacher, flustered.
Pilaf replied. "'Cause I'm the god damned Pilaf."
The ending of the words is a hentai drawing of Bulma.
(This sermon is forbidden and considered heretical.)
Parable 5:
Kerry Horse decided one day to assume his griffon-shape, and took flight through the air. Presently, he found Vegetable man riding his air scooter.
"Hile, gunslinger" said he, to which Vegetable man, who had no face, replied. "Cheese."
And Kerry Horse bent over, and light shot from his camera-ass, and Vegetable man had a face, and that face was the face of every child in the world, and each child set about at a different part of a great field, planting crops for the Great Harvest:
Six months later, Kerry Horse arrived at the fields. The children were finishing their work, and the crops sprang from the ground. There was a bountiful harvest of many types of vegetables, everything from red ripened tomatoes to sweet yellow corn.
However, a serpant had entwined itself around one of the bean stalks. Kerry Horse approached, and saw that it was Dragol Pilaf, one of the demonfolk of the world.
"Why do you pollute this place of plenty with your vile presence?" demanded Kerry Horse.
"I wanted some corn" was his blunt answer.
"Dragols are not allowed the food of decent people. It is utterly forbidden. Why don't you return to the Wastelands and gnaw on the bones of rats with your bretheren?" asked Kerry Horse.
"Let's make a deal... we shall have a game of riddles. If I win, I can eat anything on this field that I want." said the Dragol, Pilaf.
"Very well...I never reject a challenge. Issue me a riddle, and I will solve it." said Kerry Horse confidently.
"Very well.... what is the sound of God?" asks Dragol Pilaf.
Kerry Horse replied. "Shazzam."
"I'm sorry, but the answer was *insert the sounds of a woman orgasming violently and gasping for air*"
Dragol Pilaf then ate the nearest child, and took on a human form. He then ran from the field, laughing with glee. This was the beginning of the end of the old world, for the child Dragol Pilaf ate was the child named Percie, the plowmaster. Without him, the fields would not be properly tilled, and the crops would not grow well enough to feed the people of Nim.
Kerry Horse wept. War would soon be waged...the war would determine everything.
The lesson of this parable is that Dragol Pilaf cheats at riddles, and sex is God.
The ending of the words is NBLA.
To Be Continued...
Parable one:
Once upon a time, in the land of Nim, Kerry Horse was travelling down a small dirt road between two mountains.
Presently, a passage gnome appeared, and demanded three tasks of Kerry Horse before he let him pass through into the fertile valley between the summits.
"Perform for me these hardships three." iterated the passage gnome "Whence freedom and pizza will be given to thee."
But Kerry Horse, who was a god, scoffed at such demands, and squashed the passage gnome flat with his two front hooves, making pizza of the gnome and eating it on the spot.
The lesson of this parable is humility. The passage gnome thought to challenge a deity greater than himself, and paid for it with his life. Also, pizza is good.
The ending of the words is NBLA.
----------------------------------------------------------
Parable two:
One fine sunny day, Kerry Horse stood in his meadow alone, pondering the meaning of life. "What is my purpose?" perused Kerry Horse aloud, to himself.
Presently, Old Jim Cloud peeked out from the sky and said in a booming voice. "Kerry Horse, your purpose is quite clear. You are a horse with the head of a man. This means you are surely a god. Your purpose is to make others miserable."
And so Kerry Horse, who now realized the meaning of it all, shat upon old Nanny Smith's favorite daisies.
The lesson if this parable is deceit. Old Jim Cloud lied to Kerry Horse, and Nanny Smith suffered a stroke as a result. Clouds are not your friends.
The ending of the words is NBLA.
-----------------------------------
Parable three:
One day, Machinehead came to visit Kerry Horse. Machinehead had a problem with girls.
"Kerry Horse", said he. "I am of courting age, and of fine white wealthy stock, but girls dislike me sexually. What shall I do?"
"The solution to your problem is simple." said Kerry Horse. "Suicide."
The lesson of this parable is honesty.
The ending of the words is NBLA.
-----------------------------------
Parable four:
Kerry Horse was napping one day, while three creatures argued in a courtyard nearby.
The Kikkoman, who was obnoxious and evil but quite productive, had cornered the timid rabbit, who was friendly but did nothing of interest. The Kikkoman planned to eat the timid rabit, but a large and rather loud bear appeared to contest it.
Vegetable man, who had seen quite enough, awoke Kerry Horse, and asked for advice. Kerry Horse's words were ominous. "At times, we have to reach a comprimise. Banish the Kikkoman."
And Vegetable man did, and all was peaceful, but the courtyard fell into disrepair. Cracks appeared, and crows came, and the sun shone no more. Then the Kikkoman returned, with a plan to fix the courtyard, and though he was evil, other animals flocked to him, and soon the courtyard was half finished. This displeased the timid rabbit and the loud bear, and they fled. Vegetable man asked Kerry Horse his opinion.
Kerry Horse neighed and pawed the ground, then replied. "Sometimes a helpful evil is more important to the courtyard than complacent good."
The lesson of this parable is unknown.
The ending of the words is scribbled out.
------------------------------------
Un-numbered parable:
Dragol Pilaf was limping down the road on his favorite cane. He was half blind and half fat, but completely material. He farted loudly and stained his underpants as he passed the church. Mortified, the Preacher ran outside and began to preach to him about Kerry Horse. Pilaf pulled out his genitals and masturbated upon the ground, and a small tree grew from the ground his essence saturated.
"In three months, fruit will appear from this tree." said Pilaf. "I will return then, and you can bother me."
Three months later, the Pilaf came back. The preacher remembered its face, and grew angry. "Why did you desecrate this place with your unholy presence? Don't you know that this is ground where Kerry Horse once walked?" demanded the preacher.
"I am aware" replied the Pilaf, who was a woman this day. She then squatted on the ground and pissed upon the roots of the plant, and it withered and died. The preacher was horrified. "How can you create something, and then destroy it? Have you no explanation?" asked the preacher, flustered.
Pilaf replied. "'Cause I'm the god damned Pilaf."
The ending of the words is a hentai drawing of Bulma.
(This sermon is forbidden and considered heretical.)
Parable 5:
Kerry Horse decided one day to assume his griffon-shape, and took flight through the air. Presently, he found Vegetable man riding his air scooter.
"Hile, gunslinger" said he, to which Vegetable man, who had no face, replied. "Cheese."
And Kerry Horse bent over, and light shot from his camera-ass, and Vegetable man had a face, and that face was the face of every child in the world, and each child set about at a different part of a great field, planting crops for the Great Harvest:
Six months later, Kerry Horse arrived at the fields. The children were finishing their work, and the crops sprang from the ground. There was a bountiful harvest of many types of vegetables, everything from red ripened tomatoes to sweet yellow corn.
However, a serpant had entwined itself around one of the bean stalks. Kerry Horse approached, and saw that it was Dragol Pilaf, one of the demonfolk of the world.
"Why do you pollute this place of plenty with your vile presence?" demanded Kerry Horse.
"I wanted some corn" was his blunt answer.
"Dragols are not allowed the food of decent people. It is utterly forbidden. Why don't you return to the Wastelands and gnaw on the bones of rats with your bretheren?" asked Kerry Horse.
"Let's make a deal... we shall have a game of riddles. If I win, I can eat anything on this field that I want." said the Dragol, Pilaf.
"Very well...I never reject a challenge. Issue me a riddle, and I will solve it." said Kerry Horse confidently.
"Very well.... what is the sound of God?" asks Dragol Pilaf.
Kerry Horse replied. "Shazzam."
"I'm sorry, but the answer was *insert the sounds of a woman orgasming violently and gasping for air*"
Dragol Pilaf then ate the nearest child, and took on a human form. He then ran from the field, laughing with glee. This was the beginning of the end of the old world, for the child Dragol Pilaf ate was the child named Percie, the plowmaster. Without him, the fields would not be properly tilled, and the crops would not grow well enough to feed the people of Nim.
Kerry Horse wept. War would soon be waged...the war would determine everything.
The lesson of this parable is that Dragol Pilaf cheats at riddles, and sex is God.
The ending of the words is NBLA.
To Be Continued...
