I like to sit in front of the oven and watch the cheese melt when I'm cooking a lasagna. It has no particular signification, but watching the solid matter transform into viscous liquid entertains me.

Jumping to another topic...

My life looks like a nightmare. I'm not dying, nor sick, nor pregnant, but I'm slowly falling off the hill. Hopefully I will be able to stop my fall and go up again soon. I don't want to imagine what will happen if I keep falling.

and again...

A year ago I stopped talking to a very old friend after a fight. She's a nice person, but also a life victim. She enjoys to put herself in trouble, hang with people that will take advantage of her, hurt her. I used to be her neighbor and took care of her. She would take my advices and avoid certain conflicts. When I moved to Montreal two years ago, she had no one left for helping her and her relationships got worst. In fact, she has a crush on a bisexual guy that obviously dislikes her and hangs with her only to ask for her money. When he's done with her, he insults her and throws her away. She obviously comes back crawling to him, begging him to be her friend again, promising more money and care.

Last summer she did the big mistake to bring that asshole to my apartment to spend the night here. He's somebody without any care nor manners; checking for food without asking, trying to use my boyfriend's computer than he doesn't even know while he's not there, and when I leave, messing with mine even after I tell him to ask. Those are just small examples of how uneducated and shameless that man is. I cannot stand people like that.

Either way, when my old friend came back to her town, after she paid his trip to Montreal, his food, his ticket, everything, he sent her to fuck herself and went to pass the night with another guy. The girl went to see me crying and said it was all her fault. I told her about her friend being an asshole, and she tried to sermon me that I was wrong and mean to say so.

It ended there. I told her I didn't want to speak with her anymore, and I did not since then. Last Christmas she sent me an e-mail wishing me Happy Holidays but also saying that we should be friends back. She didn't omit at the end of her nice letter to write that it wasn't of my business who she hanged with. Seems like she was wrong. When my friends bring people in my life and that it affects me directly, it becomes my business. I didn't reply her e-mail, except to wish her Merry Christmas.

She tried to e-mail me a few times, and even to call me two weeks ago. I never replied.

She's moving to Montreal this summer. Hopefully I'm moving to a new flat and she won't be able to contact me anymore.

When I look at it objectively, I feel sad that our friendship has come to that. But in reality, I am not sad at all and don't really care. I realized after we stopped talking that she didn't bring me anything really, at least nothing truly useful. I was the one taking care of her, teaching her, holding her.

I don't know why I'm writing this... but I guess it feels good to speak about it.