Something happened to me to day. It changed my life forever. The girl I like more than anything in this world told me something that I did not see coming, something she has to deal with, and something that caused me great pain to hear. I know what those fucking emo's are talking about now, what with the carnival of pain crap. It hurts so much. Once she gets passed this huge monument, we will be a couple, but I just don't know how long I can last. I need something to fill th emptiness inside of me until then, and all she has asked is that I be honest about it. I will wait, wait to even kiss her wonderful lips, until she is ready, but the wait might kill me. I had no real reason for heavy drinking until now, so this will be a struggle against my basest desires for something to ease the pain. I must confide in my friends, and I hope that I have the strength to see this through. I hope I don't turn to Dewars as a support mechanism.

wish me luck, and comment on my blog. I really need it.