Horrible memories surfacing!

I'm not taking this as a joke post, which might be a mistake. =/

If you are just realizing this and feel that before this moment it has had no influence in your life otherwise... then I would say you should take it in stride as best as you can. It was a moment and it was something that you did not think much of at the time or in coming years, so it may not be that important as far as what you feel you may have "lost." [Be it innocence, pride, security, etc.]

It's doubtful that it had anything to do with you being into yaoi. It is possible, but there are so many more factors that figure into sexuality and intimacy. It would be impossible to say anything for sure.

Sometimes memories are forcefully supressed as a survival mechanism. [Shock/trauma/mental breakdown can be immediate or not so immediate responses to painful memories, so the mind can do this as a coping trick.] However, it is usually rare, and most people have a subconscious knowledge of what happened that manifests itself in different behaviors. [No boundries v. heavily guarded- in response to touch as an example.]

If you are still paranoid, I suggest confiding in someone you trust not to say anything and who's advice you trust and go from there.

I guess I don't know that well, so I don't know how much a can, or have the right to say, but you made a mention in a post, so I thought I would come and read. I'm not really the expert on anything like this, but I want to say something. I want you not to have to be confused or unhappy.

So your mind has erased the memory until now, and still only remembers parts of it? I guess you haven't needed to worry about it until now, so you should keep it in the past. That would be the ideal, but things like that are easier said than done, aren't they? Bad memories are always the ones that we can't help but dwell upon.

I don't think such a thing would have a bearing on your sexuality... I wouldn't dwell upon that part of it. It's not like being bi is anything at all bad, so stay positive on that one.

I think that if something bad did happen, then you would know about it one way or another- even if it wasn't in yor concious memory. It would come across to you I think. All you can do is try not to let it trouble you as much as you can, and concentrate on what's current?

I guess I'm not much help, and I don't really know much at all, but if you want a chat with an open-minded girl who hates seeing people dwell alone, then i'm here, hm?

Aw, Chris =$

I've had a similiar incident happen when my mom was running a daycare and I was 6-7 at the time. I won't dabble into that too far, but something that happened so long ago, you don't want to lose sleep over it. What's happened has happened. The whole "being bi" thing, I guess I can't completely rule out, for you and me both, but you can't think of it as a curse or something xP I've known many people who experimented with the same sex when they were still young, but still grew up as the raging heterosexuals I know them to be, so this whole incident could be completely unrelated as well.

Anyways, it does seem you shut the incident out, and again, I wouldn't worry about it. Something that's happened so long ago is useless to worry or feel remorse over.

It's been mentioned already, but if you feel you need to talk to somebody, then do so, whether it be somebody you can put your trust into, or if not then I'm always on MSN if you want to talk.