mine is troubled. content, but troubled. meeting someone who honestly cares and making such a connection, only knowing in the back of your mind it will be forever till you meet them again, and possibly never is just too daunting a task to digest.
maybe in the future, ill be on time.
the following was written on the bus while coming back from Kuala Lumpur. That place has a weird effect on me. That city has no soul.
Im finding the more I come in terms with my choices and being able to appreciate everything I've had, coming to amends with everything I lost (mostly shattered bonds), and trully understanding my purpose i'm becoming far too impatient with others who can't seem to do so. I finally know my path. I've always known, but never seriously considered it. Photos and words. That's all I ever want to do. Headphones, camera and all will be well. There is nothing more gratifying than losing yourself utterly in a melody, or managing to capture the moment. This hip hop guy once said that you oughta drop the cam and become part of the scene, but i think he's an idiot. Capturing that sincere moment, whatever it maybe is the one moment you trully become connected, the only moment you trully engage yourself. becuase for a change, you actually give a darn about what's going on around you. Have you taken the time to notice how birds allign themselves on an electric wire? the way the clouds shape and form? how blue the sky can be? or how a person lost in their thoughs contains the most honest expressions humanity is capable of forming? That's why I appreciate photography so much. You become one with everythign and everyone around you. this might sound stupid, but I feel omnipotent when I take a photo. I dont want to ever stop.
I shouldn't hold it against them, not being able to find the path. not being content. for close to a year i just woke up unhappy, that's when i actually managed to fall asleep (which is so rare). unhappy, angry, frustrated and despising everyone, including myself. and im lying, for the past 22 years ive been waking up like this. even on those good days when someone you trully cared about was there for you to wake up alongside to. I remember some mornings while finally getting up at dawn, there was such a sense of possibility. That odd feeling and the though that today was the day, this is were it will begin, where I will change everything with my own two hands, that there will certainly more. the moment I will come around and be trully happy. I was stupid. everyday is like that. there is no beginning, it's happiness, and it's just then and there, and instead of contemplating when it would hit, I should simply immerse myself in it.The heart was never meant to be durable. but I'm beginning to master making it so.
and this probably makes no sense. but whatever. you know?
anyhow, two photos, one old, one new:
The Killing Joke
The Stride
===
Currently Listening: De La Soul - Pony Ride
Currently Reading: Batman: Hush
maybe in the future, ill be on time.
the following was written on the bus while coming back from Kuala Lumpur. That place has a weird effect on me. That city has no soul.
Spoiler: one bad lot
Im finding the more I come in terms with my choices and being able to appreciate everything I've had, coming to amends with everything I lost (mostly shattered bonds), and trully understanding my purpose i'm becoming far too impatient with others who can't seem to do so. I finally know my path. I've always known, but never seriously considered it. Photos and words. That's all I ever want to do. Headphones, camera and all will be well. There is nothing more gratifying than losing yourself utterly in a melody, or managing to capture the moment. This hip hop guy once said that you oughta drop the cam and become part of the scene, but i think he's an idiot. Capturing that sincere moment, whatever it maybe is the one moment you trully become connected, the only moment you trully engage yourself. becuase for a change, you actually give a darn about what's going on around you. Have you taken the time to notice how birds allign themselves on an electric wire? the way the clouds shape and form? how blue the sky can be? or how a person lost in their thoughs contains the most honest expressions humanity is capable of forming? That's why I appreciate photography so much. You become one with everythign and everyone around you. this might sound stupid, but I feel omnipotent when I take a photo. I dont want to ever stop.
I shouldn't hold it against them, not being able to find the path. not being content. for close to a year i just woke up unhappy, that's when i actually managed to fall asleep (which is so rare). unhappy, angry, frustrated and despising everyone, including myself. and im lying, for the past 22 years ive been waking up like this. even on those good days when someone you trully cared about was there for you to wake up alongside to. I remember some mornings while finally getting up at dawn, there was such a sense of possibility. That odd feeling and the though that today was the day, this is were it will begin, where I will change everything with my own two hands, that there will certainly more. the moment I will come around and be trully happy. I was stupid. everyday is like that. there is no beginning, it's happiness, and it's just then and there, and instead of contemplating when it would hit, I should simply immerse myself in it.The heart was never meant to be durable. but I'm beginning to master making it so.
and this probably makes no sense. but whatever. you know?
anyhow, two photos, one old, one new:
The Killing Joke
The Stride
===
Currently Listening: De La Soul - Pony Ride
Currently Reading: Batman: Hush
