Today I saw these bananas at the store that were the color of fucking cucumbers.
Dark fucking green.
All I could do was stand there in the isle, STARING IN DISBELIEF AT THESE FREAKS OF NATURE.
"HOLY SHIT,"
I cried, trembling digit pointed in indignant accusation.
"THOSE ARE THE GREENEST MOTHERFUCKING BANANAS I HAVE EVER SEEN."
And there they remained, sitting in bunches, mounds of them, tearing down the roughshod walls of my world.
Gasping for breath, I spun around to face my companion, eyes wide with furious confusion.
"Have you ever SEEN a banana THAT GREEN!? PAN, GOD OF THE FOREST HIMSELF, COULD NOT CREATE SUCH A VERDANT HUE."
Trembling with fear, they backed away; slowly, as if from a mountain lion.
Jump around to scare it.
GET IN THE CAR.
