Criteria (bold = applies to this character)
1) Long hair
2) White (pale, blonde) hair
3) Bad guy
4) Snarky
5) Sophisticated
6) Position of Power
7) (optional) usually wielding a sword/katana/knife/etc...

To start, there are so many different ways to spell his name that it's not even funny. Don't bitch if you think I'm wrong, I'm gonna call him Zolf because not an anti-depressent god dammit. I could call him Sir Shmoopy of Awesometon (yes, I'm watching those videos right now) and you couldn't do anything because this is my blog.

Zolf is commonly referred to as the Mad Bomber and he enjoys exploding things with the alchemic symbols on his palms.


He puts them together and stuff happens which is why, during his incarceration he was put in arm restraints.


His alchemy title (the Crimson Alchemist) refers to his use of sulfur in the human body to create explosive fluids, turning people into living bombs. Psychocosis is a big part of his appeal to me.

Most of my boys are unstable and this cat's no exception, however he's a sneaky little bugger and he exploded into my heart first in the manga and then in the anime.

Despite a lot of things, Zolf remains one of my favorite FMA characters, only ranking below Maes Hughes.

Zolf's Dying Words
My work is so intricate, only an explosives artist like myself could defuse Alphonse, but you'll have to find somebody else because I'm about to retire. No need to hurry: you still have plenty of time left. I've made his armor react slowly with the oxygen in the air, gradually spreading until he's completely black. I want him to have time to think about his death and reflect on how meaningless his efforts have been.

This has been the Bishie Report, and I'll see you again next post!