Homeland security:

Secure the borders with a fence or wall, whichever will work.
Fine all businesses that hire or employ illegal aliens a millions bucks a head.
Deport all illegal aliens.
Declare English the official national language, set this to take effect in three months, and deport any teen or adult who does not speak English after that date.
Revoke the citizenships of all those born to illegal aliens on American soil and deport them back to their country of origin.
Cut funding to all sanctuary cities. Cities that do not reform their policy in spite of this will have their state government officials replaced by those appointed by the President and his cabinet.
Place ICE in every hospital frequented by illegal aliens.
Quarantine and deport all illegal aliens coming into the hospital. Do not treat them unless they are fatally wounded.
Declare Islam to be a cult.
Bug all Mosques.
Investigate where Mosque money is going and coming from.
No more Muslims allowed to immigrate into America indefinitely.
Institute racial profiling to catch terrorists.
Tap all phone calls to and from Arabic/Muslim countries and countries with terrorist activity.
Grow and produce all of America's food in America.
Make sure all imports are overseen by American companies.
Executive order these if the legislature does not pass them.


Take full control of every school in America and implement the best possible curriculum for each public school.
Uproot the homosexual agenda from each school.
Ban all openly gay teachers from teaching in K-12.
Ban all transsexuals from teaching anywhere.
Implement a counseling program for "troubled" students or problematic students that will teach them social goods such as patriotism, lawful conduct, civic duties, and American values.
Implement a counseling program for kids whose parents are not there for them or don't care about them. Teach these kids abstinence only and also teach heterosexuality as the only acceptable and normal way of life. If any of them are homosexual or bisexual they are to be counseled and helped as much as possible to change themselves and be heterosexual.
Uproot all Gay-Straight Alliances, rather institute gay to straight programs for students who think they are gay or bi.
Send any minor who thinks he or she is the opposite gender to an institution to receive psychiatric help.
Uproot all sex-ed courses from every school and teach abstinence only.
Uproot evolution and intelligent design from all schools. Teach subjects that matter.
Allow bullying in schools but forbid fighting, with the only except being in a gym's boxing ring with safety equipment under the close supervision of a coach and a medical staff member.
Allow all teachers to spank students who misbehave.
Allow teachers who pass gun safety and competency tests to carry concealed firearms. Make it known to students that some teachers in the school do carry guns but not which teachers do.
Require all students who have unacceptable grades to attend mandatory tutoring to identify and correct the cause. Force them to attend summer school if that is needed.
Executive order these if the legislature does not pass them.

Military and foreign policy:

If you're not for us, you're against us.
I would vow to get Osama Bin Ladin dead or alive during my first term and give my word as an American man that if I fail to do so then I will not run for reelection.
Screw the UN. Cut all funding. Convert the U.S.'s UN building into a hospital or working home for the poor.
Strengthen the military by investing in new technologies, weaponry, and engineering.
Bomb enemies first, then send troops in with full protection to pick off surviving enemies.
Repeal Don't Ask Don't Tell and re-institute the old procedure of screening for homosexuals. Personnel who claim to be homosexual are dishonorably discharged. Those who are discovered to be homosexual are discharged.
Take women off of the battlefields and ships. They are to fill office jobs or nurse core. Those who cannot are discharged.
Voluntary sex between troops on the battlefield results in a less than honorable discharge.
Those who become pregnant while in the service are dishonorably discharged, and this applies to the father of the children as well.
Homosexuality of any kind results in a dishonorable discharge.
Build solar powered satellites that will aid in fighting against enemies. Attach lasers that can destroy enemies missiles from orbit. Star Wars program.
Blow up space satellites of enemies if they have any.
Destroy North Korea's missile launching platforms if they try to use them.

The War on Terror:

Use greater force in Iraq to crush the insurgency. Schedule attacks around the clock and rotate the military personnel to accommodate relentless attack. Don't let the enemy breath.
Withdraw troops from Iraq as soon as we think the Iraqi government can defend their country from insurgent takeover.
Encourage Iraqi civilians to turn in any and all insurgents. Give them rewards and incentives for doing so.
Kill Iran's leader and his mullahs by dropping a MOAB on them. Tell the people of Iran that if they elect another one like him then he will also be eliminated.
Destroy all of Iran's power plants, nuclear subs, and weapon stock piles.

The War on Drugs:

Secure the borders.
Destroy the sources of the drugs that come into America. If this is a war, why not treat it like one? Napalm the crops of the drug lords. As for regular farmers, destroy their crops and tell them to grow food.
Save some of those drug plants for America to use against China. Flood them with opiates and other drugs to destabilize their forces and make some of our money back from them.
Decriminalize hemp and grow it in every state, wherever it can grow. This will force any marijuana growers to move their operations indoors, since hemp can pollinate up to 20 miles, and this will make it easier for police to monitor people's electricity consumption to see if they have probable cause for a warrant and search.
Use hemp to make many different materials as well as fuel if that is beneficial as well.
Export food and hemp to other countries as a resource to help our economy.
Offer free clean needles to all injection drug users and arrest them when they show up for them. Force them all into detox and charge it to their accounts.
Regulate the prescription drug industry and make laws against prescribing adult drugs to minors. Ban Ritalin and other such mood altering drugs.
Ban the morning after pill.

How to get information from captured enemies:

Inject them with heroin. Give them more heroin every time they cooperate. When they are no longer of any use, give their decrepit body back to their respective countries. If they are terrorists, cook them a hit so hot that they overdose. Declare to the UN that any country passing a new policy that orders through the Geneva Convention that drug injection is not allowed will be considered an enemy of America for creating an international law that directly prohibits an American form of interrogation.
Declare water boarding to be an acceptable form of interrogation. Start out with weaker forms and then work up to water boarding and then heroin use if previous methods of encouragement are unsuccessful.
Use any form of torture on terrorists who have information that can lead to saving American lives.

Global warming/Environment:

What global warming?
Bust Al Gore and others for fraud.
Lift carbon output bans or restrictions on companies and products.
Ban dumping.
Give companies incentive to reduce pollution and garbage.
Ban the use of food as a fuel. They are more expensive than oil, using food for fuel drives up food prices, and collection and refinement of food products for fuel produces more carbon than gasoline anyway.
Grow hemp. Use that for fuel instead if hemp is more efficiant, but if not then just use it for other products. Make hemp a resource and sell it to other countries.

Economy, budget, and national debt:

What debt? Only repay American banks and America's allies. Screw China, we'll call it even for all the crap we've bought from them.
Stop all trade with China.
Give incentives to American companies to open up industries in America.
Impose tariffs on other countries in order to establish fair trade and allow American industries to compete.
Cut all special programs that are not needed, such as NASA's Mars program. Focus NASA on creating satellites that give us a military advantage.
Invest money in our auto companies. Do not let them go out of business.
Work with engineers and the auto companies to create a fuel efficient car that gets at least 150 miles to the gallon and is affordable for Americans.
Protect employers from abusive labor unions.
Open up America's oil wells and invest in American oil refineries. Executive order this if the legislature does not pass it.
Place price ceilings on gas stations so they cannot gouge Americans.
Request that Mexico give us oil in exchange for the billions we have spent removing their people from our country. If Mexico does not comply, take the oil by force. If Mexican army resists, destroy Mexican army and government and replace the government with leaders appointed by the President and his cabinet. Set a price for the Mexican oil that is fair for Americans but beneficial to Mexicans. Make sure all oil money goes to building up Mexico.
If Mexico complies or does not resist, still pressure their government to supply Mexicans with a good country to build up.